Day 10, July 24 -- Custer, SD to Worthington, MN

Nat says:
Left Rocket Motel. Nat met another climber in the parking lot whilst racking up. Tash takes a long shower and tries to check the weather for the route today (she is petrified of tornados. Petrified.), but the internet refuses to cooperate. We get a fritter and muffin at the bakery: delicious! Thence to the climbing problem. Since Tash’s arm is still hurting, Nat decided to do a two-pitch .8ish/.9ish cool-looking climbing all the way to the top, then do two raps to get down. Nat started up and the climbing was really fun! Unfortunately not enough slings were brought! Nat had to back-clean a draw in order to have enough to get to the top, and still it was awkward and not optimal to set the rap. At the second rap station, all hell broke loose! Nat dropped (ED NOTE: on my end, it looked like he FLANG IT into space) his belay device, had trouble pulling the rope and felt like a total gumby. Blah. Then, once Tash hoisted up her (spare) belay device to Nat, he came down the 1st pitch on a different line, and forgot to clean his draws! What the hell. He had to toprope the first section off the anchors to reclaim them. And after that, we discovered that Nat left a locker at the top anchors by accident and also the rope bag was soaked from a puddle! At least we found the dropped (FLANG) device after a bit. BLAH. (ED NOTE: It was strange! Usually Nat does not fling his important pieces and leave expensive gear on things. However, he looked in top form for the actual climbing part, so I’ll give him some points.)

On the way out, we find that we’ve FILLED UP our 2gb card for our camera, and decide that Keystone is a dumb stupid town and we do not approve. However, there is a funny sign about dinosaurs.

Rapid City is the largest town we’ve gone through since Portland! It’s all red and Tash has trouble with all the other cars (ED NOTE: other cars! Who do they think they are!?) all in her way.

12:53pm
Back on the open road! Wall Drug, the fabled place of billions of billboards advertising ANIMATED DINOSAURS and BREAKFAST ROLLS and FREE COFFEE FOR VETS and ROOT BEER, grows near…

1:05pm
Cheyenne River

1:12pm
I CAN’T WAIT FOR WALL DRUG!!!

1:54pm
WALL DRUG IS A FUCKING HELL HOLE! GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!! (ED NOTE: he is right about this. Wall Drug was definitely horrible. It was horrible. Nat was not able to enjoy anything about life until we were an hour away, going 85 on I-90. Oh, the poor world, with such Wall Drugs in it. It was like all the worst parts of Vegas, Knott’s Berry Farm, and South Dakota smashed together in one horrific plasticky parking-lotty hell.)

2:00pm
Buffalo Gap National Grassland

2:57pm
(and now Tash says...)
1880 town! And we pass a strange statue thing of a t-rex on a leash, being led around by a person. This definitely happened, in the past, Nat says.

The Afternoon, pm:
Okaton! Murdo! “Jesus Christ is Lord, not a swear word” on a truck, instead of saying what the truck is carrying! Pukwana SMELLS LIKE POO. Nat says something “runs the guh-MUT.”
Pro-Life Billboards:
We have passed a crap-ton of these in the past two days. Today’s included “Abortion: the Choice that Kills” and “Abortion Kills Babies and Hurts Women” and “Life: What a trip…and it begins at conception!” Also a sign the other day said “Your Mother Was Prolife. “ Fact: SHE IS NOT. Oh, my anger at prolife billboards has no bounds. I even go through stages: first I guffaw at the ridiculousness and pretend it doesn’t bother me on any deep level, then I become loud and indignant and yell obvious things about fetuses and back-alley abortions, then I get sad, and then the low-level righteous anger kicks in and generally lasts until the next billboard.

Here’s the thing about moving across the country: we aren’t really from anywhere except where we are RIGHT NOW. So far today, we’re from Custer. We listen to Antje Duvekot’s song about moving to NYC from the Midwest, and get thoughtful for a minute until Nat criticizes Antje for “telling not showing” and we fight about Iowa a little. (Just a little.)

Today there is roadwork ALL DAY. No one is pleased. Also, however, we are below 4000 feet for the first time in forever, and the air is nice and thick! I could probably drink a whole beer without getting wobbly down here (ESTIMATE).

PS Congrats on Website, Salmon Suede! We still have such a surprise for you. Oh, it will be sweet. Also, nice picture. Is this an acceptable way to communicate with you? Likely not, but I’m doin it.

Also today is all about DUMB MOTERCYCLES. Also moto-tricycles. I do not respect or appreciate moto-tricycles. Also, if you have so much stuff that you need a huge trailer behind your bike, maybe consider using a Car? Maybe a convertible would suit your bugs-smashed-in-the-face fancy?

We’re happily discussing camping vs motelling in Sioux Falls when Nat glances behind him and CACKLES maniacally, and says “OH-HO BLUE CAR! Now you’re going to pass me huh? Tired of living in my shadow?!?!” In a few moments Tash notices that Blue Car is still to our left and notes that they’re having trouble passing us, and Nat cackles again and says “That’s probably because I sped up a LOT.” And again with the cackling. South Dakota is doing something crazy to us.

6:45pm
We discuss being unsatisfied with tonight’s location-destination of Sioux Falls, and mandate DRIVING FURTHER! We shall PRESS ON (hey alex, if you’re reading, corigpressoniwasa…)! We shall have a cute night in a cute town, and we shall have ice cream! We shall CONTINUE EASTWARD in our never-ending quest to reverse the Oregon Trail! And not have to resort to cannibalism! (Important Note: I tried to purchase Oregon Trail last night, but it’s gone up in price from $.99 to $6 since I last checed, and I’m not sure if I’m cool with that. Also did you KNOW that there’s a new Oregon Trail 5.0 out, and it’s a great history lesson on the LDS church for the kiddies? That’s what Internet tells me.) Also we’re going to get a motel rather than camp because, let’s face it, it’s going to thunder and rain tonight and we’ve really, really already done some major camping this trip. Plus, HOW WOULD WE BLOG?

6:49
Nat estimates that our car is 4 feet wide, or maybe 6 or 8. He fantasizes about lying down on top of it, and which parts would be hanging off. We’re excited to be sleeping in Minnesota tonight, to get this strange S-Dak sense off of us. We expect Minnesota to be more normal, sober and restrained. Like a good little blonde child.

6:58pm
SO MANY ESTABLISHMENTS use Papyrus here! We speculate that no one in South Dakota had scrolled down the font list until very recently. Please, people: do not just use Papyrus for your logo. Have Hailie create a new font for you, at least.

7:05pm
Just wanted to assure you all that after the Wall Drug debacle, we decide (and it was a heart-wrenching decision) to SKIP the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD. We’ve also decided to overnight in Luverne, which is 12 miles over the border into Sober Minn.

7:11pm
MINNESOTA! Verdict: The Black Hills were awesome; the rest of S-Dak we could take or leave. (Hint: leave.) We have high hopes for Minnesota.

7:14pm
We discover that we MISS CHRISTIAN FOEDEN-VENTZEL!!!!! This is upsetting and horrifying to us, but it would be a lie to say otherwise. We still hate him though, don’t get us wrong. However, S-Dak NPR news is far worse than anything Christian F-V could even think of. We’ve mostly been hearing about how a Native American singer is going to shoot a music video in South Dakota. That’s the most important thing that’s happening in the state.

7:27pm
Turns out Luverne is a little too dying and methy for us, so we’re going to PRESS ON TO WORTHINGTON! But first, crazy-cheap gas (AS I SUSPECTED, within a month, we’ve forgotten than $4/gallon is absurd, and we’re ecstatic at $3.89. Rude, gas people. Rude. Also: dumb and gullible, consumers. Dumb and gullible.)

NIGHT-TIME pm
We check into the slightly-creepy Days Inn in Worthington, which is NOT CUTE. It is a not cute town. But we get pizza, ranch garlic cheese sticks, and Cactus Cake delivered from a pizza ranch, and try HARD to watch TV that is mostly just shows about the bible and why we're going to hell. You are strange, Days Inn. We don't understand you. Your wireless network is called "Minds at Development," and we're creeped out by this. We're starting to worry that our random love for Minnesota was misplaced, but we shall certainly see. Good night! Look for pictures sometime soon....