July 15: Day 1 -- Portland to Riggins, Idaho

Mileage, start of trip: 72,844

Sometime o'clock, AM:
We ambled out of our apartment with many many bags of trash and extra little bits o crap in the early morn, smashed ourselves into the car, and drove to Tiny's to have breakfast with The Markelope. We chatted about all the things to chat about; I had bagel/lox (delicious), and nat had a mufflet with veggie sausage (no good). Mark had just shaved his cowboy 'stache, and everyone was sad about that. We eventually parted ways and drove off...to Comcast! At the lovely Comcast building, we watched right wing propoganda on TV and waited for about 15 minutes while several employees stood around specifically not helping us. I stepped up to the window, and was told "I'm not ready yet, I'll call you in a moment." It was a long moment. We returned our SACRED DVR (so many episodes of Mythbusters unwatched! So much virgin Seinfeld! We'll have to start from scratch!), learned about a $4 credit (even though I still got a bill this month for the normal amount, good job people), and then jiggered the bags in the car and drove off, FOR REALS! We hopped on to I-84 at 10:10am, with many already-nostalgic complaints about PDX road signs (they are no fun).

11:00am
Hood River! Big Horse is closed until 11:30, so we go to cute small-town know-your-name BofA to cash my savings bond. Many minutes of hard math proved to me that with a 2% interest rate and 20 years left on the bond until it reaches a whopping $200, it might possibly do me better in my 3% savings account... We were the only ones in there not greeted by name and profession and address. It was hell of cute. $152 richer, we left to wander around the bike shop until the restaurant opened. I opened the place, and procured a lonely table by the window, while Nat retreated to the bike shop to cash in a special ol' Sacajajuja (that's right) for quarters for the meter. For some reason, this was quite a process. Eventually, as we sat watching the kiteboarders out on the river, we managed to procure some sweet potato fries. However, they were out of everything else we ordered. No meat. Sorry, no meat. No asparagus. No lettuce. You can have corn bread. Back in the car and off to Pendleton at 12:00pm!

Exit 83
Last Burgerville for 24,338 miles!

1:25pm
Near Boardman, a strong and lasting mirage steals the road in the distance, and turns our path into dying grassy hillsides.

2:05pm
Pendleton Round-Up and Happy Canyon!

4:34pm
LaGrande Guignol: (Nat says) Enough time has passed that I can begin to write about this disaster -- this terrible thing. First, in Pendleton, we had 1/4 tank of gas. 70 miles to La Grande -- no probs, right? WRONG! Turns out there's a HUGE mountain in between! 4000 feet! On the way up the gas light went on! With more than 50 miles to go! Exit after exit fly by with no relief -- Hillgard, Kamela, Meacham, Starkey, Mission: YOU CALL YOURSELVES TOWNS, SANS GAS STATIONS??? We kept going up and up, until finally we crested and started coasting down, foot off the gas. At last, at the end of our rope, in the 9th innning, in the nick of time (ED NOTE: Nat's theme for Days 1 and 2 was strings of cliches with similar meanings. Take note.), we found a Shell, in the outskirts of LaGrande! WOO! But it only took 14.3 gallons (tank is 15) -- what the hell! The Adventure continued with the attempt to buy a camera. There is no Target in LaGrande. No Best Buy. No Mom&Pop camera store. Safeway smelled like poo (literally) and also failed. Aaron's the usurous store had nothing but overpriced and over-interested ugly furniture and a few TVs. The directions they gave to the unnamed EVILMART were hard to follow and Tash and Nat had a huge fight (ED NOTE: it was not huge.). After circumnavigating LaGrande, finding the high school, the historic district and little else, we arrived at a large parking lot with 2 choices: Sears or Evilmart. Sears, of course, failed. Finally, at E.M., we found salvation in a Sony Cybershot sold to us by a portly, bad-toothed E.Martian. At last, at 4pm, we left LaGrande in our dust and found pretty views of the Wallowa and Elkhorn Mountains outside town. Also a sign says "_____ Next Right" -- nothin! Also we had Subway, cookies, leftover pizza (THANKS HAILIE AND EZZIE) and cheetos.

5:21pm
Lime, Oregon is a ghost town with limestone cliffs and an abandoned factory. Creepy. (ED NOTE: Nat kept wondering aloud what kind of rock we were seeing, and I kept saying, "Um, limestone?" and EVENTUALLY like 6 towns later he was like "OH, LIMESTONE! Like LIME!" It was really a good time.)

6:38pm
Route 20! Sinkholes!

6:45pm
Weiser ID! Confusing.

8:16pm
Pretty valley! Lush! Granite!

9:00pm (MOUNTAIN TIME, HOLLER)
Arrive in Riggins! Tash was gunning it all the way. Lots of places were closed for dinner, but salvation came at the Rodeo Club Steakhouse where we had buttery vegetables and played with our new camera and an Idahoan apologized to us a LOT for slightly slow service. Also when Nat asked about beer she said she had everything you could even THINK of, including Coors, Bud, Miller, and even Sierra Nevada. Then we went out to Shorts Bar (sand bar, not drinky bar) on the river and had lovely camping. We even saw a pair of frolicking skunks try to frolick into someone's campsite! I never knew a skunk to be cute, but Idaho will do these things. It was hot but okay in the tent -- a fine night of SLEEP!